A Strange World
May. 3rd, 2007 10:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollardfishIn August 2000, I went to Turkey for about 3 weeks. It was my honeymoon for my first marriage and was, frankly, a pretty grand time. There was much to see in Istanbul, then a little (2-day) bout of indigestion followed by a long drive from the city to Ephesus (we went by way of Ankara because the person who rented us the car said the roads were better and it would be easier, but it was about 5 additional hours). We spent the night in Sart, the site of the ancient city Sardis, capital of the kingdom of Lydia, then drove the short trek to Seljuk and found a pension (European for very cheap hotel, this one was 8$ a day, no hot water). After a break, the owner of the pension drove us, two blond American girls, and a red-headed American guy to Ephesus, one of the great ruins of the world. Once a city of 250,000, the Mediterranean retreated and the city shrunk. It was never pillaged, just forgotton, and then largely excavated in the 20th century. Afterwards, we were taken to a tourist site where one sat in the shade (it was very hot in August in the summer) and drank juice and ate some flatbread that a "peasant woman" made. It was tasty, but very touristy.
During the wandering through the city we hung out with Erik, the red-headed guy. He was on his way back from a Peace Corps tour-of-duty in Armenia and was spending a few weeks in Turkey before returning home. He was a very interesting person and the three of us had a really nice time seeing this astounding site. After the van ride back to Seljuq, we had been warned that every Pension owner also owns a carpet store and would try to bully us into the store and get us to buy something (in gratitude for the "free" ride to Ephesus, or something). Thankfully, when the owner parked outside the carpet shop, he was so focused on the blond girls that Erik, Lilah, and I just wandered off in a different direction and escaped! We found a really nice lunch somewhere in the city, mostly the "meza" appetizers for which Turkish cuisine is justifiably famous. Lilah and I bought him lunch, because he was running on pennies and we were flush with the cash given to us at his wedding.
So I tell you this story because I took Nicholas out to a picnic for the Center for Medieval Studies at the University of Minnesota, and Erik was there. He had no connection to Minnesota and never mentioned a plan to study medieval literature in Turkey, yet here he was. I didn't recognize him, but after saying hello to a few people I found myself in a "party-lull" (a dead spot in the area where I wasn't talking to anyone and no nearby conversation looked joinable), so I wandered over to the tall red-headed man in a white shirt and tie who I didn't know. He said, by way of introduction, "Have you ever been to Turkey?" "Yes," I replied. "Did you go on your honeymoon? To Ephesus?" I recovered quickly from the bafflement as it dawned on me that relatively few people in this world might start a conversation, and one was that nice man from the Peace Corps that we met! He did an M.A. at Western Michigan and is here working on all sorts of interesting things. We didn't talk much, but enough to trade contact info. and I hope to talk to him later.
This was only my second time out with Nicholas without Shannon, and the first one was to Macalester to let the ladies of the office (Herta, who runs the show, and various student workers) coo and cuddle him. This was into a less familiar environment as I do not know everyone at CMS these days, but I wanted to see the director and say goodbye to my old scene. I learned a few things: First, I feel funny walking along pushing a stroller, and it's for reasons of gender norms. It's not "manly." It makes me giggle at myself, as I generally don't consider myself particularly influenced by such commonplace stereotypes, and yet, there I was, feeling self-concious walking across the college campus with my stroller.
Second, and far more important, I do not feel comfortable being with Nicholas around people who do not know he has Down's Syndrome. I can't say why, either, but I suspected that everyone at the party didn't know (as opposed to faculty in History who do know), and this seems right - but somehow it just felt wrong talking on and on about Nico, as I do, without the people around me knowing the whole context. I finally mentioned it at one point towards the end as we were discussing the corrupt nature of the state of Illinois and that my family would be so involved.
I guess I just want people to know. And then I want to show them how fabulous my son is. It's odd.
During the wandering through the city we hung out with Erik, the red-headed guy. He was on his way back from a Peace Corps tour-of-duty in Armenia and was spending a few weeks in Turkey before returning home. He was a very interesting person and the three of us had a really nice time seeing this astounding site. After the van ride back to Seljuq, we had been warned that every Pension owner also owns a carpet store and would try to bully us into the store and get us to buy something (in gratitude for the "free" ride to Ephesus, or something). Thankfully, when the owner parked outside the carpet shop, he was so focused on the blond girls that Erik, Lilah, and I just wandered off in a different direction and escaped! We found a really nice lunch somewhere in the city, mostly the "meza" appetizers for which Turkish cuisine is justifiably famous. Lilah and I bought him lunch, because he was running on pennies and we were flush with the cash given to us at his wedding.
So I tell you this story because I took Nicholas out to a picnic for the Center for Medieval Studies at the University of Minnesota, and Erik was there. He had no connection to Minnesota and never mentioned a plan to study medieval literature in Turkey, yet here he was. I didn't recognize him, but after saying hello to a few people I found myself in a "party-lull" (a dead spot in the area where I wasn't talking to anyone and no nearby conversation looked joinable), so I wandered over to the tall red-headed man in a white shirt and tie who I didn't know. He said, by way of introduction, "Have you ever been to Turkey?" "Yes," I replied. "Did you go on your honeymoon? To Ephesus?" I recovered quickly from the bafflement as it dawned on me that relatively few people in this world might start a conversation, and one was that nice man from the Peace Corps that we met! He did an M.A. at Western Michigan and is here working on all sorts of interesting things. We didn't talk much, but enough to trade contact info. and I hope to talk to him later.
This was only my second time out with Nicholas without Shannon, and the first one was to Macalester to let the ladies of the office (Herta, who runs the show, and various student workers) coo and cuddle him. This was into a less familiar environment as I do not know everyone at CMS these days, but I wanted to see the director and say goodbye to my old scene. I learned a few things: First, I feel funny walking along pushing a stroller, and it's for reasons of gender norms. It's not "manly." It makes me giggle at myself, as I generally don't consider myself particularly influenced by such commonplace stereotypes, and yet, there I was, feeling self-concious walking across the college campus with my stroller.
Second, and far more important, I do not feel comfortable being with Nicholas around people who do not know he has Down's Syndrome. I can't say why, either, but I suspected that everyone at the party didn't know (as opposed to faculty in History who do know), and this seems right - but somehow it just felt wrong talking on and on about Nico, as I do, without the people around me knowing the whole context. I finally mentioned it at one point towards the end as we were discussing the corrupt nature of the state of Illinois and that my family would be so involved.
I guess I just want people to know. And then I want to show them how fabulous my son is. It's odd.
