I recognize the desire to be supportive of a family member's opportunities and cleverness, the chance to cheer them on while they do something they like, and are good at, and are proud of. I mean, my family doesn't really do that, but I recognize it as normal and desirable behavior.
What seems so off-kilter to me is this, that shouldn't be news to anyone: adults have lots of coping mechanisms for insults and pain, but little kids don't. Everybody knows this. Nico's not quite old enough to recognize the insult and feel the pain, but soon enough he will be. And he'll have to suffer and hurt until he gets calloused enough to live through it, just as we have all had to do with our inadequacies. Maybe this is what made Valentine Michael Smith laugh.
I doubt it will be a part of his sweet nature to tell derogatory jokes about Jews or fat girls or teenaged mothers or football fans. And that makes insulting him and people like him all the more cruel. Family loyalty doesn't trump that. And paying forward your own hurt is not the answer.
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Date: 2009-10-28 06:59 am (UTC)What seems so off-kilter to me is this, that shouldn't be news to anyone: adults have lots of coping mechanisms for insults and pain, but little kids don't. Everybody knows this. Nico's not quite old enough to recognize the insult and feel the pain, but soon enough he will be. And he'll have to suffer and hurt until he gets calloused enough to live through it, just as we have all had to do with our inadequacies. Maybe this is what made Valentine Michael Smith laugh.
I doubt it will be a part of his sweet nature to tell derogatory jokes about Jews or fat girls or teenaged mothers or football fans. And that makes insulting him and people like him all the more cruel. Family loyalty doesn't trump that. And paying forward your own hurt is not the answer.
K.