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May. 19th, 2007 07:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollardfishI've been thinking a lot about development, disability, and delay. A few months ago I wrote that although I frequently tell people (healthcare administrators, disability services in Chicago, and other professional strangers) that I have a disabled child, I have never seen it. I've never seen my child fail to do something that he should able to do, I've never seen the barriers that his "syndrome" will place in front of him.
And maybe it's only because I am watching for it so intently, so that I can learn what difficulties he'll encounter and try to help him, but I think I do see it now.
Some children, or so I have read, learn to do something - grab things, put fingers in mouth, roll over, and eventually sit, crawl, stand, walk, talk, and so forth - once. Once they've figured out that, hey, those hands are mine! I control those! Then they are off ... grabbing things. With Nicholas, I see him having to relearn a lot. He's a quick learner, strong as can be, and figures things out fairly readily, but I don't get the sense that the lessons stick. Even with rolling over from stomach to back, something he accomplished at 2 months (half a lifetime ago!), he still sometimes has to rethink where to put his arms and legs to get himself over.
This is not woeful. He does figure it out. It's far more delay than disability, delay (slower) than retardation (being held back - sounds much more permanent). But it bears watching and helping.
Maybe that's part of why his smile is so beautiful. It's like falling in love for the first time, every time, when he realizes that, "Hey! My daddy, he's funny!"
And maybe it's only because I am watching for it so intently, so that I can learn what difficulties he'll encounter and try to help him, but I think I do see it now.
Some children, or so I have read, learn to do something - grab things, put fingers in mouth, roll over, and eventually sit, crawl, stand, walk, talk, and so forth - once. Once they've figured out that, hey, those hands are mine! I control those! Then they are off ... grabbing things. With Nicholas, I see him having to relearn a lot. He's a quick learner, strong as can be, and figures things out fairly readily, but I don't get the sense that the lessons stick. Even with rolling over from stomach to back, something he accomplished at 2 months (half a lifetime ago!), he still sometimes has to rethink where to put his arms and legs to get himself over.
This is not woeful. He does figure it out. It's far more delay than disability, delay (slower) than retardation (being held back - sounds much more permanent). But it bears watching and helping.
Maybe that's part of why his smile is so beautiful. It's like falling in love for the first time, every time, when he realizes that, "Hey! My daddy, he's funny!"
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Date: 2007-05-19 07:28 pm (UTC)