Michael Berube speaks on Down Syndrome and expectations

[lollardfish]

It’s not just a matter of contesting other people’s low expectations of your child, it’s a matter of recalibrating your own expectations time and time again—and not only for your own child, but for Down syndrome itself.

Read this blog.

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

some days, i wish peter singer would get run over by a bus. repeatedly.

okay, that makes it sound like there are some days when i don't wish that. which might not be true.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but without him, we wouldn't have Berube's response!

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I was struck by this quotation from Singer:

We cannot expect a child with Down syndrome to play the guitar, to develop an appreciation of science fiction, to learn a foreign language, to chat with us about the latest Woody Allen movie, or to be a respectable athlete, basketballer or tennis player.

And that's different from parenting any child--how?

Because those kinds of expectations are exactly what mess up so many kids and permanently damage the parent/child relationship. There is no assurance that ANY individual can do any of those things, and parents who expect their kids to be able to, and more, to want to, either will be sorely disappointed or will wind up with a stressed, possibly depressed, child with a poor self-image, or worse, no reliable self-image at all (because the child has taken on the image that the parent wants to see).

Aside from that, kids with any kind of disability can be damaged by both too-low expectations and too-high expectations. The first hold them back from reaching their potential; the second make them feel like failures. (On second thought, delete "with any kind of disability" from the first line; this is true of anyone!) What kids need is lots of opportunities. Freedom of choice in pursuing those opportunities. Encouragement that whatever they show interest in is worth being interested in, worth learning about, worth practicing. No comparisons to other kids--even, or maybe especially, to other kids with similar disabilities.

End of rant.

[vagueparanoia.livejournal.com]

I am sending your LJ info to a co-worker who has a Daughter with Down. You met him and his wife at a picnic in Mpls, he remembers you. Your kids are about the same age. Hope that's OK

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Please.