(no subject)

[lollardfish]

The eating therapist/nutritionist says -

• He is getting enough calories/calcium/vitamins.
• She does not think there is any physiological/medical problem. It's typical 2-year-old stuff.
• "Food chaining" is the way to introduce more food. You take foods he likes and match them with new foods that are similar. I.e. Penne (which he eats) with other kinds of noodles. Or "veggie booty" with non-toxic other puffed foods (not cheetoes). Etc. In the meantime, we can just keep feeding him whatever it is he's eating (breakfast stuff, yoghurt, some cottage cheese, some fruits, some snacks, plain penne noodles) so long as we "chain."
• Food strategies based on denial/discipline are ill-conceived and likely to have backlashes even if they work. You cannot control eating, sleeping, bowl movements. Don't try. You can, though, influence the decisions they make. This is true for all children.
• Most of all - eat with him at least 2 meals a day. Take whatever we are eating and put some of it on his plate/tray. Make food social as he's ready for social; in fact, social is more interesting than just about anything else.
• In the end, there are children with Down's who decide on what they will eat, and then they eat only that, potentially forever. If that happens, we'll have to cope most likely. No reason to think that's happening now, though. He's just "food jagging" and exercising power/control in the limited arenas in which he can.
• This is all reassuring and calming. We've actually been calm since we gave up and just started feeding him from his current menu. It was just the what happened next that was stressful. Also, in non-food-play, we are to be more assertive in how we deal with his stubbornness. Don't let the fussing, whining, even mild resisting end the play (and lead to "quiet" time) until he really gets obstreperous.

P.S. 4 days in a row successful use of potty post-dinner. It's very encouraging as you can see the comprehension in his eyes.

Comments

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Sounds good. Cassoulet for everyone!

B

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

I like how you think.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

good! yay! and that chaining is a great idea. i hope i remember it in a few years.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Food chaining is a thing. There are books!

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to know he's getting what he needs from the food he does eat.
I think for me as a parent that knowing that would relieve my own anxiety about how and what I was feeding my child.
I hope this eases things for you guys.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Family dinner, just like you were talking about.

K.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's always been one of our goals, but not something we put into effect. Now we are. In fact, I need to go have a bowl of cheerios with my son!

[bellebonnesage.livejournal.com]

My life changed for the better when I read Ellyn Satter's books about feeding and nutrition. Her huge insight is that there is a feeding relationship between parents and children, that the parent and the child have different responsibilities, and that if you try to swap responsibilities it leads to problems. The parent 1) chooses the food, 2) prepares the food and 3) serves the food. The child decides what and how much of what is served to him he'll eat.

My mother and I started arguing about eating when I was *2*. Ellyn Satter gave me the tools to end what had been a lifetime of eating disorders. Also, my family's mealtimes are pleasant!!!!

Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense

Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the recommendations and the concise summary of the message! I appreciate it.

[creidylad.livejournal.com]

It was pointed out to me recently that it's evolutionarily sensible for kids to be fussy about food; they know THESE berries are good, and you don't want a kid who is likely to wander off and try all the other berries, as some are poisonous etc., which is why this is part of the typical behavior for the age.

I found this reassuring, hope you do, too!

I'm glad things are calmer.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Well, that does make sense. But I think it's just as much about exerting limited power and control over an ever-changing world.

[creidylad.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree, which is totally where we are with the three year old. I know she even LIKES some of this stuff she's refusing to eat. But she does enjoy being contrary.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Nico likes most of what we offer him too, or has lately. He's food "jagging" on some things, say the professionals.