(no subject)

[lollardfish]

I've been thinking a lot about development, disability, and delay. A few months ago I wrote that although I frequently tell people (healthcare administrators, disability services in Chicago, and other professional strangers) that I have a disabled child, I have never seen it. I've never seen my child fail to do something that he should able to do, I've never seen the barriers that his "syndrome" will place in front of him.

And maybe it's only because I am watching for it so intently, so that I can learn what difficulties he'll encounter and try to help him, but I think I do see it now.



Some children, or so I have read, learn to do something - grab things, put fingers in mouth, roll over, and eventually sit, crawl, stand, walk, talk, and so forth - once. Once they've figured out that, hey, those hands are mine! I control those! Then they are off ... grabbing things. With Nicholas, I see him having to relearn a lot. He's a quick learner, strong as can be, and figures things out fairly readily, but I don't get the sense that the lessons stick. Even with rolling over from stomach to back, something he accomplished at 2 months (half a lifetime ago!), he still sometimes has to rethink where to put his arms and legs to get himself over.

This is not woeful. He does figure it out. It's far more delay than disability, delay (slower) than retardation (being held back - sounds much more permanent). But it bears watching and helping.

Maybe that's part of why his smile is so beautiful. It's like falling in love for the first time, every time, when he realizes that, "Hey! My daddy, he's funny!"

Comments

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

It seems to me a much slower process than I have observed with many other children.

It's interesting that for the past few months, and I don't mean this as a criticism, pretty much the standard answer from most people on my f-list is, "Oh, all parents think that about their children ..."

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

That's probably because, based on what you've written, Nico doesn't appear to be very delayed. Maybe you're right and it takes him a little longer than average to master certain skills, but so far all his milestones seem to be well within the normal developmental period.

I don't know a lot about Down Syndrome, other than what I've learned since Nico was born, but he sounds like he is at the high-functioning end of what is possible. It's especially encouraging to hear that his muscle strength is so good and that he's constantly engaging with the world. I don't know if that is just how he was born or if it is because of all the attention and stimulation he gets from his devoted parents, but clearly he is doing wonderfully well.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Well, he was pretty damn active in the womb ... KICK KICK KICK! :)