10 rules for music parties.

[lollardfish]

Rules for Music Parties - unfiltered by common courtesy. Sorry.

1. Be good. - Do stuff you actually know how to do.
2. If you aren't good, get better.
3. Blend. It is not acceptable to sing louder than the person leading the song (unless they need help). It is not acceptable to drone in monotones under people singing songs. And not all songs are singalongs.
4. Be honest with yourself. If you cannot sing, if you cannot hit the notes, please do not try to take leads. At least not more than one song every three parties. Same with lead musicians. I can't do guitar leads. Someone asks me to, I shake my head. I am trying to learn. Privately, where I can do no damage.
5. Be aware. Don't talk over people doing something pretty. Don't assume they do a song you do in exactly the same way you do. Try to follow.
6. A Capella is very dangerous. If you aren't really amazing, acapella sucks. People can't play along. There's no space for leads. And you are probably in violation of rules 1, 3, and 4. A lousy guitar player-singer is much less damaging to the circle than a decent acapella singer.
7. Stay with the mood. if you consistently find yourself unable to follow moods, learn more material. Not all songs are singalongs, but when people are singingalong and the mood is high, don't kick it in the shins.
8. Break the mood when it needs breaking.
9. This is a shared performance space. You are not in control. It is performance, so perform (it's not the same as singing in your shower. Sorry). It's also not a gig for you to do things exactly the way you'd like to on stage. You're leading, but not in control.
10. Break any of these rules KNOWINGLY anytime it seems right to you. Except the first one. Be good.

At a music party, everyone either adds or subtracts. I believe I used to add, barely, when I started out. Now I think I'm more of an addition to any given party (though I will always accept constructive feedback, gladly, delivered privately, with cake and pie, and some whiskey, and funny hats). But initially I had only one type of song (ballads), played too quietly, wasn't really aware of what was going on, got thrown when people did things I didn't expect during "my" songs, and so forth.

There are also two kinds of music parties (at least). One is egalitarian, where everyone participating is more important than quality. My rules only apply to the second type, where one is more concerned with making good music. Yes, I am aware that such thinking leads to the Snotty Elitist Music Parties of times past. But - people LIKED those parties. Sorry for those I've offended.

Edit: For another take, Read here.

Comments

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

"When singing, do not sing louder than the person doing the lead."

Right. You'd think it would be obvious.

B

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Well, there's singing louder, and singing under. Some songs just aren't sing-a-longs. Or some songs are only sing-a-longs in choruses. On the other hand, it's incumbent on the performer to mostly do songs he/she is happy to be sung along with.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

The problem is that, for people who are not singers, they can not tell if they are blending well unless they can hear themselves. And even if they can hear themselves, maybe not then. This is why, when people who aren't singers do sing, they are loud, or in some random key. It's so they can hear themselves.

K.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

That's a fair point. I guess I'd say to try and be aware of when it's going to matter, and when it's not. Most of the time, songs when everyone can just belt along merrily, are pretty self-evident. And it's incumbent on the musician to play some of those over the course of a night.