10 rules for music parties.

[lollardfish]

Rules for Music Parties - unfiltered by common courtesy. Sorry.

1. Be good. - Do stuff you actually know how to do.
2. If you aren't good, get better.
3. Blend. It is not acceptable to sing louder than the person leading the song (unless they need help). It is not acceptable to drone in monotones under people singing songs. And not all songs are singalongs.
4. Be honest with yourself. If you cannot sing, if you cannot hit the notes, please do not try to take leads. At least not more than one song every three parties. Same with lead musicians. I can't do guitar leads. Someone asks me to, I shake my head. I am trying to learn. Privately, where I can do no damage.
5. Be aware. Don't talk over people doing something pretty. Don't assume they do a song you do in exactly the same way you do. Try to follow.
6. A Capella is very dangerous. If you aren't really amazing, acapella sucks. People can't play along. There's no space for leads. And you are probably in violation of rules 1, 3, and 4. A lousy guitar player-singer is much less damaging to the circle than a decent acapella singer.
7. Stay with the mood. if you consistently find yourself unable to follow moods, learn more material. Not all songs are singalongs, but when people are singingalong and the mood is high, don't kick it in the shins.
8. Break the mood when it needs breaking.
9. This is a shared performance space. You are not in control. It is performance, so perform (it's not the same as singing in your shower. Sorry). It's also not a gig for you to do things exactly the way you'd like to on stage. You're leading, but not in control.
10. Break any of these rules KNOWINGLY anytime it seems right to you. Except the first one. Be good.

At a music party, everyone either adds or subtracts. I believe I used to add, barely, when I started out. Now I think I'm more of an addition to any given party (though I will always accept constructive feedback, gladly, delivered privately, with cake and pie, and some whiskey, and funny hats). But initially I had only one type of song (ballads), played too quietly, wasn't really aware of what was going on, got thrown when people did things I didn't expect during "my" songs, and so forth.

There are also two kinds of music parties (at least). One is egalitarian, where everyone participating is more important than quality. My rules only apply to the second type, where one is more concerned with making good music. Yes, I am aware that such thinking leads to the Snotty Elitist Music Parties of times past. But - people LIKED those parties. Sorry for those I've offended.

Edit: For another take, Read here.

Comments

[laurel]

Word.

I used to chat in email a lot re music party philosophy and the best ways it can work and the worst ways it breaks down with fredcritter, Bob & Kathy, and other fine folks. I've been to so many music parties in the last 15-20 years that I think I've seen every possible way for them to break down and ways for them to really rock. I cherish the memory of some snotty elistist parties and Tor parties and various consuite parties and pool parties.

It's been fun watching you (and Kurt and others) start playing in the circles and to see you grow as musicians and as participants in the circles. And yeah, if I may say so, you really do "get it" now. (Oh that everyone did, though of course folks gotta start somewhere. But some have better starts than others. Some people exhibit learning behavior, others not so much).

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

The thing is that there were universally respected people who were the leaders, and willing to keep the norm pretty high. Those people are still the leaders in many ways, but they aren't around as much (and sorely missed). Also, Minicon as the defining annual music event no longer functions that way.

Minicon, like Winipeg, had enough space for all the different kinds of music jams to happen within it. The open mic style, the concert performance, the SEMP, the Tor party, the Thursday night con suite party. Each of these had their own norms, and gave different people a chance to be a part of the music (and some people a chance to be a part of the music every night). I think Baggiecon needs to think about that - having some nights explictly open to all (and to kick people like me in the shins until I'm happy about it), but also having a night or two where the more polished musicians get to jam.

The key with me "getting it" now, is to verify that for a long time I didn't. I think the guy 'Dave' who sat next to me last night is getting closer, but not there yet. Still, he was a much bigger positive member last night than he was a year ago at Minicon, and this is a good thing.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

What would you think of Baggiecon hosting a jam in the first stone circle on one night? Put up flyers and all that?

I think trying to reclaim the idea that music happens in the campground would be worth trying, because in years past, some amazing amazing shit happened.

K.

[chirosinger.livejournal.com]

I still remember the days when I was not allowed to play in the Minicon music circles because they were for "the real musicians". Never mind that by that time I had been a professional musician in Atlanta for years, even opening for national artists in concert and such. I think I had the being-a-friend-of-the-organizers thing working against me. It took playing and holding my own at the music parties at the Chicago Worldcon to finally get my foot in the door with Minneapolis SF music. I guess my point is that it's alright to allow folks to play sometimes even if you don't know them. You never know if it'll be the next Chas Somdahl or Adam Stemple. I agree that at private parties, the hosts absolutely get to set house rules and invite only those who they want to play and keep the list at that. I applaud that. Those can be really fun parties. But I also like the chance in more open forums to play the egalitarian circles 'cause then you get to hear new folks and encourage those on thier way. The two types of gatherings are very different. Each has thier merits. Each is fun in thier own way.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

I have never, ever, said anything about allowing people to play. I have said to be self aware, to think about what one is doing within the environment, and to try to add.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

The energy never gets built up when the players consider a Minnstf music circle to be a performance space and not a community event.

K.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I mean ONLY a performance space, and not involving the audience. Some people perform for themselves, I think. And when you're new, that's all you have. It's experience that makes you able to perform for the audience.

K.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Right. I was wondering. Cause it needs to be a performance as a community event, or a community event as performance. There is a distinct difference between the minnstf circle and a "Rise Up Singing" gathering. I used to go to those too, with Andy. Everyone had a copy of the book, one person would pick a song as we went around the room, maybe three of us had guitars, and everyone would sing.

And it was fun about 3 times, before it stopped being musically engaging.