10 rules for music parties.
Mar. 19th, 2006 11:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollardfishRules for Music Parties - unfiltered by common courtesy. Sorry.
1. Be good. - Do stuff you actually know how to do.
2. If you aren't good, get better.
3. Blend. It is not acceptable to sing louder than the person leading the song (unless they need help). It is not acceptable to drone in monotones under people singing songs. And not all songs are singalongs.
4. Be honest with yourself. If you cannot sing, if you cannot hit the notes, please do not try to take leads. At least not more than one song every three parties. Same with lead musicians. I can't do guitar leads. Someone asks me to, I shake my head. I am trying to learn. Privately, where I can do no damage.
5. Be aware. Don't talk over people doing something pretty. Don't assume they do a song you do in exactly the same way you do. Try to follow.
6. A Capella is very dangerous. If you aren't really amazing, acapella sucks. People can't play along. There's no space for leads. And you are probably in violation of rules 1, 3, and 4. A lousy guitar player-singer is much less damaging to the circle than a decent acapella singer.
7. Stay with the mood. if you consistently find yourself unable to follow moods, learn more material. Not all songs are singalongs, but when people are singingalong and the mood is high, don't kick it in the shins.
8. Break the mood when it needs breaking.
9. This is a shared performance space. You are not in control. It is performance, so perform (it's not the same as singing in your shower. Sorry). It's also not a gig for you to do things exactly the way you'd like to on stage. You're leading, but not in control.
10. Break any of these rules KNOWINGLY anytime it seems right to you. Except the first one. Be good.
At a music party, everyone either adds or subtracts. I believe I used to add, barely, when I started out. Now I think I'm more of an addition to any given party (though I will always accept constructive feedback, gladly, delivered privately, with cake and pie, and some whiskey, and funny hats). But initially I had only one type of song (ballads), played too quietly, wasn't really aware of what was going on, got thrown when people did things I didn't expect during "my" songs, and so forth.
There are also two kinds of music parties (at least). One is egalitarian, where everyone participating is more important than quality. My rules only apply to the second type, where one is more concerned with making good music. Yes, I am aware that such thinking leads to the Snotty Elitist Music Parties of times past. But - people LIKED those parties. Sorry for those I've offended.
Edit: For another take, Read here.
1. Be good. - Do stuff you actually know how to do.
2. If you aren't good, get better.
3. Blend. It is not acceptable to sing louder than the person leading the song (unless they need help). It is not acceptable to drone in monotones under people singing songs. And not all songs are singalongs.
4. Be honest with yourself. If you cannot sing, if you cannot hit the notes, please do not try to take leads. At least not more than one song every three parties. Same with lead musicians. I can't do guitar leads. Someone asks me to, I shake my head. I am trying to learn. Privately, where I can do no damage.
5. Be aware. Don't talk over people doing something pretty. Don't assume they do a song you do in exactly the same way you do. Try to follow.
6. A Capella is very dangerous. If you aren't really amazing, acapella sucks. People can't play along. There's no space for leads. And you are probably in violation of rules 1, 3, and 4. A lousy guitar player-singer is much less damaging to the circle than a decent acapella singer.
7. Stay with the mood. if you consistently find yourself unable to follow moods, learn more material. Not all songs are singalongs, but when people are singingalong and the mood is high, don't kick it in the shins.
8. Break the mood when it needs breaking.
9. This is a shared performance space. You are not in control. It is performance, so perform (it's not the same as singing in your shower. Sorry). It's also not a gig for you to do things exactly the way you'd like to on stage. You're leading, but not in control.
10. Break any of these rules KNOWINGLY anytime it seems right to you. Except the first one. Be good.
At a music party, everyone either adds or subtracts. I believe I used to add, barely, when I started out. Now I think I'm more of an addition to any given party (though I will always accept constructive feedback, gladly, delivered privately, with cake and pie, and some whiskey, and funny hats). But initially I had only one type of song (ballads), played too quietly, wasn't really aware of what was going on, got thrown when people did things I didn't expect during "my" songs, and so forth.
There are also two kinds of music parties (at least). One is egalitarian, where everyone participating is more important than quality. My rules only apply to the second type, where one is more concerned with making good music. Yes, I am aware that such thinking leads to the Snotty Elitist Music Parties of times past. But - people LIKED those parties. Sorry for those I've offended.
Edit: For another take, Read here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-20 02:03 pm (UTC)And i'm guessing i'm quite guilty of breaking several rules ... Particularly the first 5 ... or maybe 6 ...
('though, in my defense, i never actually INTEND to be A Capella- just that people don't usually play or sing a long ... probably because of that whole "do songs that people in the circle will know" rule mentioned by
Having said all that, Wpg music circles are much more relaxed than Mpls ones, from what i can tell. But even so. Eep.
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-20 04:47 pm (UTC)WFF was very frustrating to me. STRONG CAVEAT - the girl and I were sick the whole time, our tent flooded, and between the heat and mud everything was just awful. You'll have to forgive me, I was not at my best, as the song goes.
But - We had so many people, and I couldn't hear the other musicians a lot of the time. Sometimes people were playing songs they didn't know. The energy never sustained. Every time it came around to me, I felt like I had to play the most up-tempo rousing song I knew to resurrect the energy, and this tired me. It also never carried onward. I like to be handed some energy by the person before me, and I like to pass it on to inspire the people after me. This almost never happened. In the end, I just had to stop playing, and found it very difficult to enjoy.
Mostly, though, I just want the music to be good. I want people to feel they have to practice to be able to play in the circle. And I want people to improve. I do not expect everyone in the circle to be a professional (or would-be professional) musican. I'm surely not anymore. But I work really hard to get better.
That said, I love it when a new person steps up and tries a song, or two, over the course of a night. It's all a question of balance. There have been parties where I have witnessed improvement over the course of an hour or two, and people who, as the years and years go by, never seem to 'get it.'
In the end, though, I know I am much more an elitist when it comes to the music jam then others (some others who are far better musicians than I). That doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good group sing, but not too often.
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-20 08:20 pm (UTC)I think this is important, and that there's some sort of "start out slowly at first; don't take a turn every turn" sort of rule.
B
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-22 08:26 am (UTC)It is okay to pass if the only material you have really doesn't fit the mood of the party at the moment. I know folks have a hard time doing that, especially if it's a big circle and a person's turn won't come around again for an hour or more.
One reason I do like the circles with the "pick, pass, or play" rule is because it seems more common for people to pick an appropriate song for someone else to play if they don't have a good follow. (Though even that depends on knowing the material of the folks in the circle and having a good sense of what follows well).
(And yeah, another reason I like circles like that is sometimes geeks like me get to pick a song 'cuz I surely can't "play").
I like it when circles aren't married to the order and if someone has exactly the right song, they can jump in with it. But this works best when folks know each other pretty well.
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-22 10:28 am (UTC)B
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-22 05:54 pm (UTC)I'm comfortable picking some songs if it's a group of musicians I've seen a lot over the years (i.e. The Usual Suspects). Though I'm sure there would be times when I'd be stumped or just uncomfortable, I wouldn't want to be the one person who's always picking and not passing.
It really would depend on the musicians and who else was in the room and how the party was going.
Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-22 03:29 pm (UTC)Re: Yikes!
Date: 2006-03-22 05:59 pm (UTC)A couple times when I have seen it, I have witnessed the phenomenon you mention: one person playing way more than others. I think it might be okay if a party was in a single musicians honor or if they were GoH at a con, then it might be understandable if they ended up playing more than anyone else. The musicians would have to go in expecting that (or would soon pick up on it).
I can also imagine a scenario where the person picking isn't familiar with anyone's music and just picks favorite songs of theirs (see also: the things people request at bar gigs who aren't familiar with the band).
I think a pick, pass, or play circle could also have many of the same problems a regular circle would. If the person in the circle doesn't have a good sense of the room, the mood, the musicians, they might pick inappropriate songs or just keep picking stuff by one person. Or someone would pick every turn, which I think can get rude after a while (depending on the circumstance).