(no subject)

[lollardfish]

There's a post out there today of a "friend" (not someone I actually know that well) who has been out of touch with LJ.

He's asking for updates because, "If there's something you've been assuming I know because you wrote about it on LJ and in the past I've reliably read your LJ, you might want to point it out to me. Alternately, you can just regard me as the retard in the corner who never knows what's going on."

I find this metaphor infuriating and offensive, although I know that as with most such things he means nothing by it. What's the best response? Ignore? Post something publicly in comments? Send a private email? Write an LJ post of my own about how offensive I find it and hope someone reads it?

What do you think?

Edit - I posted what I hope was both a polite and firm comment.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know anything about the person, and I certainly have no intention of defending rude, inappropriate or insensitive language. However, with that said, I can remember a time when "retard" was considered almost acceptable and often "funny". We know better now, there are so many hurtful words out there, and as a culture, we are slowly starting to "get it". Still, though, in certain age groups, and mind sets, these words are not considered "bad".

I think the appropriate response is measured, as it should be always. Perhaps a reminder to this person that what they said was hurtful, not only to some shadowy non-specific group "out there", but to someone that is a respected friend and/or acquaintance. Reminding them that it is not acceptable in our society today, to use words like that in such a hurtful way. Chances are good that the person doesn't even realize that this is true. The phrase may be conditioned from years of use to meaninglessness for them. As I said, I am not trying to excuse it, and you have more than enough right to be offended, as should we all, but maybe the person just needs a gentle reminder.

There is also the possibility that the person has no social graces, and cannot recognize when insult or injury have been given. I'm sure we all know a few of those. Again, I think, a reminder of the unacceptable language and hurtful nature of the comment would be more appropriate than a full frontal attack. Certainly, posting a response on LJ for all to read may also help to enlighten the others out there who may not realize that it is a problem to use language so indiscriminantly. Maybe a polite email to the person explaining that the word is unacceptable. Then, if the response is still rude or hurtful, more action might be called for.

I think it's always best to assume that someone is just acting ignorantly, and can be educated, rather than to assume malice at the outset.

Just my 2 cents...