(no subject)

[lollardfish]

There's a post out there today of a "friend" (not someone I actually know that well) who has been out of touch with LJ.

He's asking for updates because, "If there's something you've been assuming I know because you wrote about it on LJ and in the past I've reliably read your LJ, you might want to point it out to me. Alternately, you can just regard me as the retard in the corner who never knows what's going on."

I find this metaphor infuriating and offensive, although I know that as with most such things he means nothing by it. What's the best response? Ignore? Post something publicly in comments? Send a private email? Write an LJ post of my own about how offensive I find it and hope someone reads it?

What do you think?

Edit - I posted what I hope was both a polite and firm comment.

Comments

[smellingbottle.livejournal.com]

I'd post a polite comment pointing out the general offensiveness of this metaphor. That you have particular reasons for being sensitised to it doesn't invalidate the general point that this is fairly vile thing to say.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

I did more or less that. Thanks to all for advice.

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

In such cases I think it's our job as parents to point these things out to others.

Whether it relates to disabilities or adoption you and I will always be in that boat of having to decide when to speak up and how to best convey the message.

Yesterday I realized I have to stop saying "orphanage" and start saying "baby home" Because one implies a home where children are cared for and the other only focuses on that lack of a family. As factual as "orphanage" may be it says something completely different to our future child. Not that we can't use the word but when talking about where they lived before being with us it seems like "baby home" in general is the way to go. This was driven home by listening to the family that brought their two young children to our class to talk about their experience.

My point is it's a constant process for us and those around us.

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

I was a little upset that 39 people commented on that post with no one else saying anything about the metaphor. I was, I admit, hoping someone else would step up, maybe someone for whom it was less raw.

I didn't know about baby home. I'll work on that.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised. The word just washes over people; it doesn't even register as a metaphor.

B

[fredcritter.livejournal.com]

Me, I never had to do "hard time"--my parents picked me up right at the hospital.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I think what you posted was fine and reasonable.

B